so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize