Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
