Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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