You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
