The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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