Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
