how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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