I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
