I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
