I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
