the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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