There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
