Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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