I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
