At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i out mim tonsoeep
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
