He kissed a someone with a penis
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I forget how to act sober
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
