So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
