Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
