Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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