K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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