it was like eating out sand paper
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I could fuck to npr.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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