They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
