True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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