coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
