every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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