Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
