Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
