hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
