I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
