What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
