yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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