remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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