Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize