Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
