Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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