Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
