I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
