His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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