His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The adults are the big ones right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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