I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
