shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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