i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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