No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize