dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
