she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're a waste of cheezeits
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
