Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
