bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
