It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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