haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
