so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
