Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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