guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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