I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
