Can Purell be used as lube?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
