we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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