i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
this is an emotional support booty call
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
