Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
