If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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