I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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