but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
