I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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