Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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