Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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