I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
