I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
