he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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