So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
