If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize