Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
