am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
