He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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