After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
