i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
