I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
