that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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